


Don't Want Everything

by nubianamy



Series: Just Tell Me What You Want Me To [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Blow Jobs, Friends With Benefits, Frottage, Hand Jobs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-09
Updated: 2013-03-09
Packaged: 2017-12-04 19:43:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/714370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nubianamy/pseuds/nubianamy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake and Ryder hear about Blaine's 'bros helping bros' line and mistake it as An Actual Thing That Happens. Jake's high and dry with Marley and Ryder's getting nowhere on the girlfriend front, so why not help each other out? For the glee-kink-meme. Jake/Ryder, spoilers through 4x14.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Want Everything

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gala_apples](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gala_apples/gifts).



> This is a fill for the glee-kink-meme prompt #21 - my first! Gala_apples alerted me to the prompt, which was absolutely charming, and fulfilled my need for Jake/Ryder smut. She suggested we both write the same prompt and see how they turned out differently. You can read gala's fill at http://archiveofourown.org/works/714343 
> 
> Titles for both stories came from the same line of the NIN song "Head Like a Hole" because we discovered we were both soundtracking our fics to the wondrous Head Like a Hole/Call Me Maybe mashup. Spoilers through episode 4x14 I Do. Warnings for handjobs, frottage, blowjobs and boy angst. Enjoy. 
> 
> -amy

 

Neither Jake nor Ryder could remember where they heard the phrase first. Ryder swore it was Tina, but Jake couldn't believe Blaine would have said it to her.

"Tina's cool, I guess," he said, leaning against the wall by Ryder's locker, "but that seems like something kind of personal to talk to a girl about. If it's supposed to be 'bros helping bros,' there's really no girl involved, is there?"

"She's kind of an honorary bro," Ryder decided. "But I don't think Blaine would be down with her helping him like that, even if he did kiss a girl once. He's pretty capital-G gay."

Jake nodded. "But... it doesn't have to be about being gay. Right? It's about... helping. You know, like, when there aren't any girls around?"

Even maybe when there were girls around, because seriously, Jake had dated girls before, but never any quite like Marley. She was awesome in so many ways, he wasn't going to fuck things up by moving too quickly; even his own brother had given him that advice. But jerking off alone every night was definitely getting old. He thought from Ryder's expression that he might sympathize, and he grinned back in relief.

"Sure." Ryder sounded calm and confident. "I mean, if Blaine does it, it's got to be okay. He kept saying that he wasn't getting back together with Kurt, that they were just friends, even after the wedding. Uh, not-wedding."

"Yeah," Jake agreed. "Friends could do that for each other. I mean, I guess every guy knows how much better you feel when you're getting some."

"Totally. I mean, I even feel a little bad for Blaine, now that Kurt's back in New York."

Jake was about to agree, when the statement hit him a little funny. He picked at the hem of his jacket. "Well, Sam's his best bro. He should be the one to do that for him, don't you think?"

"Sure, he could, but Sam's with Brittany. There's no way he's not already getting all the sex he wants." He shrugged. "I just feel a little bad. Not enough to say anything about it."

That, Jake could agree with. "Yeah, no, of course not. He can take care of himself. I mean, he's Blaine fucking Anderson."

Ryder slid his biology textbook into his backpack, looking thoughtful. "Still. It wouldn't be cheating, right? For Sam, I mean, if he did that for Blaine. Because it'd be a bro thing. Not because bros before hos or anything, but because they're a totally separate entity: there's friends, and there's girls."

"Totally," Jake echoed. It was kind of refreshing how Ryder got that. He was pretty sure Marley wouldn't have. "Hey, did you finish your biology homework? I'm getting really sick of drawing out the stages of meiosis over and over."

Ryder slammed his locker door shut. "Come over tonight after dinner. I bet it wouldn't suck nearly so much if we did it together." He paused, then added, belatedly, "If you and Marley don't have -"

"No," Jake said, "no, we don't have anything. I'm in. I'll bring chips."

* * *

Biology turned into Nano Assault Neo on Ryder's Wii, with his two little sisters running in and out intermittently to grab chips and ask random questions ("Why are flamingos pink?"). To be fair, they'd finished most of their homework, and it wasn't due until Friday. Jake figured they'd earned a little stress relief.

He handed off the bowl to Ryder, wishing he'd chosen the chips without so much powdery cheese stuff on them. They were tasty, but the powder stuck to his fingers and he had to keep licking it off. Ryder watched him with a frown.

Jake grimaced, flexing his hands. "Hey, I'm sorry, I'll try not to get it on the controllers."

"Whatever, man." He paused to outfit his ship with a new satellite. "So... how do you think Blaine and Sam would  _do_  that?"

"Do what?" Jake asked, even though he knew precisely what Ryder was talking about. Maybe it was that he was a little incredulous Ryder was even bringing it up with his sisters in and out of the room.

"Bros helping bros." He gave Jake a little sideways glance that made him screw up his next shot. "I mean, Sam's not gay, but he wouldn't freak out about it."

Jake caught himself about to suck off his finger again, and turned it into an ear-scratch instead. "Kissing is hot," he offered casually.

"Yeah," Ryder agreed with enthusiasm. "Like that."

The idea stayed with him through the rest of the game, enough that it barely mattered that they were playing on cooperative mode and Ryder practically had to carry him through the mission. Ryder didn't say anything about it, of course, because he never would. Generous didn't cover the kind of guy he was. Ryder was the kind of guy who was cool enough to give him advice on how to make Marley like him. He'd trusted Jake enough to tell him about his reading disability, and to give up the dance solo so Jake could dance it. He'd never bragged about getting the lead in the musical.

So Jake decided that Ryder was also the kind of guy, when he went to take a leak, that Jake would stand in the hallway to intercept.

He looked startled when he opened the door and found Jake standing there, but not as startled as he might have been. Realizing that made Jake more nervous, not less - but he wasn't going to wimp out now. He took two steps toward him, making Ryder back up, eyes going wide, and nearly trip over the edge of the tub,

"There's stuff Sam would never do with Blaine," he said quickly, before Ryder could speak. "He wouldn't fuck him, because he likes girls, okay?"

"Okay," Ryder said immediately, "that's... yeah."

"And he wouldn't blow him either. Sam's already sensitive about his mouth." He couldn't take his eyes off Ryder's wet, slack lips. His own were burning from the residual powdered cheese, but he wasn't going to lick them.

"I'd think Blaine would understand that." He sounded so reasonable.

Jake wasn't going to stare at Ryder's junk, that would be pretty gay, but he was close enough now that he might be able to figure out if he was hard. It would be reassuring to know he wasn't the only one needing help from his bro here.

"It's not -" Then Jake sighed, and gave up saying what it wasn't, because there were too many things, and concentrated on what it  _was._  What it  _was_  was Jake taking one more step forward, and Ryder taking one too, meeting him in the middle. Which was good because he was pretty sure he would have fallen into the tub otherwise. Their lips met before Ryder touched him anywhere else, but by the time they'd broken apart, gasping, Jake had a firm grip on his Bieber cut and Ryder's hands were holding Jake's waist in a death grip.

It took a while before there was enough space between them to exchange words, and even then, Ryder was doing his best to fill it with tiny, focused grunts. He was no weakling, but Jake finally realized what his purpose was when Ryder pushed him back against the door of the bathroom, shutting it to the hallway and leaving them in the near-dark. The only illumination was a nightlight in the corner.

It wasn't like kissing Marley. Jake had kissed a lot of girls. Marley was a tentative kisser, her mouth small and lips tense, like she was trying really hard to be involved but she could only take it in small bites before it became overwhelming. But he'd kissed girls who'd been totally into what they were doing, who didn't care about how words like  _dirty_  or  _spit_  applied to their situation. This was a hell of a lot more like that. He wasn't sure he could say some of the things he was thinking, actually, because how do you tell another guy that he's the best kisser you've ever had, or that his lips were the perfect combination of soft and strong, without that sounding completely  _stupid?_  He sure as fuck would have decked any guy who told him that. But then he realized Ryder was talking to him, and he tuned in quickly.

"So I was thinking," Ryder was saying, somehow managing to keep kissing between statements, the thumbs of both hands digging into Jake's hips, "this is about helping... and even though I've never done anything like this before, we've both got kind of the same equipment, and it shouldn't be that complicated."

"Makes sense." Jake was pleased the words came out without shaking. Ryder wasn't doing much, not in the technique or action department, but having him this close was definitely doing things to his own  _equipment._  He held his breath as Ryder's hand slid lower on his hip, fiddling with his fly.

"But I think - um." With a wrest of his hand, Ryder suddenly managed to undo all three buttons, and found himself holding a half-handful of Jake's hard dick through his boxers. His blush kind of fascinated Jake. He stopped kissing him just to stare at his red cheeks. Ryder gave a nervous little laugh.

"Not too gay?" he asked.

"No," Jake assured him. "Not bad, anyway."

"Cause that would be a total buzzkill." Jake's vision whited out for a moment as Ryder gave him an experimental squeeze, watching his face with avid interest. "Doesn't appear to be that, though."

"No," Jake muttered, "no, no, not a buzzkill, and - can I just -?" He reached down and pulled his own jeans low enough on his hips to give Ryder better access. Ryder's breathing accelerated, and Jake watched as Ryder's hand dipped beneath the waistband of his boxers to encircle his leaking dick.

From there it was only a matter of time before he came, Jake knew, but thinking about what was happening and who it was happening with in those minutes was inspiring all by itself. It wasn't like jerking off to fantasies of some other girl. This was his friend, his bro. He was right here. He could trust him. And, judging from his jagged breathing and his other arm flung around Jake's shoulder, Ryder was digging it too.

"Come on, man," Ryder whispered urgently, and it was the explosion of breath against his neck, in his ear, that threw Jake over the edge. He came with a barely restrained gasp.

Ryder groaned, wedging himself against Jake's hip and grinding him hard up against the door. Jake, still addled and shaky from his own orgasm, noted the heat and heavy pressure of Ryder's erection with detachment:  _huh, so that's what another guy's cock feels like._

Ryder didn't seem to be asking for anything in return, not really; he was just going for it, long hard strokes, already shaking with need and swearing against Jake's chest. Jake wanted him to know it was okay, that he didn't have to feel bad for it, so he murmured, "Yeah, that's good, you can do that." He hardly had time to snake an arm around him to pull his body tighter, to give him a hand with the friction, before Ryder was hissing, " _Fuck -"_  and shuddering against him.

Jake felt Ryder sag, tried to keep him upright, but eventually decided there was no point and slid down the door, conscious of his bare ass against the cold tile. Ryder went with him; he wasn't making any move to want to get away from Jake's grasp, which he figured was a good sign.  _Nobody's freaking out, right?_ He gave himself a quick mental check.  _Nope, still me._

"God," panted Ryder, resting his forehead in the crook of Jake's neck, laughing weakly, "this could solve so many problems."

Ryder's laugh was infectious, and they were both laughing when Jake fumbled a hand out to grasp Ryder's, because bros didn't care about a little come between friends.

* * *

Things were surprisingly the same after that. The biggest difference was the level of charged anticipation around being alone together. When Jake would say, "Dude, sorry, can't make it after school today, I've got a dance lesson," Ryder would shrug and smile and that would be it, because it was silly to get hung up around whether or not your bro had time to hang with you. But more often than not, he'd text him after dinner and say something like  _my mom made carrot cake and there's a piece with your name on it,_ and Jake would promise to be safe on his bike and ride as fast as he could across town for carrot cake and a hand job. Which, really, was the best combination.

It helped once he figured out that Ryder was completely not interested in being embarrassed about what Jake liked, or about what he liked, because the name of the game was getting each other off, with no strings. Ryder watched Jake thoughtfully, not in a creepy way, but he noticed things that Jake did, and he brought them up when they were alone. The way he did this, it was easy to feel grateful instead of wigging out.

Like the time that Ryder tapped Jake's Spanish textbook with his pencil and said, "I know why kissing's hot."

"Okay," said Jake.

"It's because it's skin. Skin touching skin, you know? More nerve endings, people totally get off on that." Ryder set his pencil down. "C'mere."

Jake sat up, reassuring himself that the door was indeed locked, and moved to sit on the edge of the bed next to him. When Ryder pulled his t-shirt off, he tried not to feel awkward. Knowing that orgasms were probably imminent was enough to turn him on, but being turned on while looking at his friend's bare chest felt a little less like bros helping bros and a little more like -

"This is kind of gay," he said, making a face. Ryder didn't laugh, which Jake had trusted he wouldn't, but he didn't put his shirt back on either.

"No, it's an experiment. You need skin for this." He gestured at Jake, waiting until Jake reluctantly followed suit. "Okay. So - skin, right?" He reached out, and Jake automatically put his arms around him, closing his eyes, and relaxed as he felt Ryder exhale. It did feel nice, but he didn't quite get it until Ryder added, "Like all your skin is your lips."

"Holy shit," Jake whimpered, clutching him convulsively.  _Now_  he could feel it; he couldn't  _unfeel_  it, the drag of Ryder's skin against his, the silky smooth and the rough and everything in between. It wasn't his hands he wanted to feel against him, it was his whole freaking body, and definitely his lips were part of that. When he kissed him hard, Ryder was right there with him, falling into his mouth and tucking a hand into his crotch to give him something to press against.

"Yeah?" Ryder was grinning, not in a teasing way, but completely earnest, excited to have found something that made Jake respond that way.

"More skin," Jake insisted, and it wasn't too gay to take off their jeans and socks and, fuck it, their boxers too, because those things were just in the way. Jake took the initiative to move their books and papers off the bed, and he kind of loved the way Ryder's eyes lit up as they reconnected. And, okay, naked wrestling, that was something Jake could deal with, especially watching Ryder completely lose it when Jake flipped him and held him down, jerking him with those long, slow strokes that he knew Ryder preferred. He didn't even flinch at Ryder's fingers on his nipples, pinching hard just before he came.

It was the kissing afterwards that got to him. "I'm not into that," he said, shaking his head when Ryder tried to hold him.

"Is it about getting off, or feeling good?" Ryder challenged. "Because I think we're about more than the nerve endings in our dicks. Skin feels good after you come, too."

Jake thought about this as he rested next to Ryder on the bed. He skated fingers across his chest, feeling it on his palms, the inside of his wrist, and watched Ryder shiver.  _Lips all over,_  he thought, and shifted one leg over his thigh. That definitely provoked a response. It was different, without the drive to get off, but he was right, it did feel good.

* * *

_Lips all over_ became hard to ignore, especially at school, where getting hard wasn't something you could take care of right away. Jake found himself avoiding contact with Ryder during the day, which had the interesting effect of making their evening bro-helping all that more intense. It was to the point that, when Jake would walk into his room, they'd start by taking off all their clothes before they even kissed. It was the biggest relief to feel all that skin against his, and they'd just lie like that on his bed for minutes at a time before doing anything else.

Jake didn't stop to look, because although he'd seen Ryder almost-naked enough times to appreciate that his friend had a nice body, it was how he  _felt_  that was of paramount importance here. Or, at least, that's what he'd thought, until Ryder suggested they spot each other using Ryder's dumbbells.

"Dude," said Jake, frowning, "we're naked."

Ryder scoffed, swinging down onto his back on the weight bench next to his desk. "So what? You think you're going to lift better with clothes on or something? Come on, put your palms under my elbows."

He gave him support, counting his reps with him, feeling the strain in his arms. "Doing it naked isn't more distracting?" he asked, after Ryder finished his last rep. Jake passed him a bandana to wipe off his forehead.

"I think it's more distracting when I have to work at not noticing you. Or noticing you, noticing me." Ryder gazed up at him, eyes clear. "Dude, you know you're awesome."

"But I don't look at guys," he protested. "Sure, I can say,  _Sam's got great abs,_  but it's not like I'm jerking off to them. I can appreciate them without getting all homo about it." He let his eyes stray down to Ryder's admittedly tight six-pack, but only that far before dragging them back up to his face.

"It's not like that for me. When I see you, it's like, all the things we do together, they're there. If I see your skin, I want to touch it. So if I don't do that at school, it's not because I don't want to. If I'm watching you dance, it's a good excuse." Ryder wrinkled his brow. "Does it bother you that I like looking at you? 'Cause you're look-worthy."

Jake thought about it through Ryder's next set. "No," he decided. "I kind of like it, I think."

Ryder's smile was even more awesome than his body, but Jake decided not to say that. "So, it's not any different than the skin thing. It feels good to touch; it feels good to look. So go ahead."

"What?"

Ryder gestured at himself, spread out on the weight bench, his legs parted, other arm folded behind his head. "Look."

Feeling a little silly, Jake did. He moved to stand in front of him, close enough for their knees to touch. He let himself stare, without worrying about how long he was taking or if he was looking at the wrong part. He decided Ryder's abs were just fine, but his forearms were freaking amazing. By the time he'd worked this out for himself and decided to say something about it, he realized Ryder's cock was twitching, shifting. Getting hard.

"Oh," he said. "Uh..." He was startled into a laugh. "You... like it when I do that."

"Apparently," Ryder said. His hand came down to rest on his own thigh, not touching, but his cock was paying attention. Jake felt a rush of irritation.  _That's my job,_  he thought, and knelt beside him, taking him in his hand, jacking him slowly.

The way Ryder responded by letting his legs fall open, the motions of his hips, thrusting forward - it made looking at him a whole different experience. His eyes, heavy-lidded, rested on Jake as he crouched there, stroking him.

"You're fucking gorgeous," said Ryder.

Jake stopped, snatching his hands back like he'd been burned. "Dude."

Ryder raised himself up on his elbows. There was a little runnel of sweat that ran from his temple down his jaw to his chin. "Too much?"

"Maybe. I don't know." Jake turned away, crossing his arms, suddenly uncomfortable.

"You know Sam thinks Blaine's beautiful."

He thought about the way Sam talked about Blaine, and had to agree. "Yeah, I guess."

"It's not like I'm objectifying you. You're my best friend."

These words felt like more of a shock than his earlier statement had been, but he couldn't hide his smile. "Yeah? I mean... really?"

Ryder sat up, watching him. "Of course. You didn't know?"

"I think I did, but I never..." He shook it off. "Sorry for the freakout."

"Hey, it's okay. You can tell me if things are getting too Blaine."

That made him laugh. "You're totally not Blaine."

"Yeah, I could never pull off those bow ties." Ryder stood, moving off the bench and wiping it down with his bandanna. It was impossible to stop looking, now that he'd started. Ryder's hair was sticking up in the back. The muscles in his back moved under his skin. His cock was pink and stood out at an acute angle from his body. "You want a turn on the bench? I can finger-spot you."

Jake sat down slowly, conscious of his own arousal, but even more of Ryder, standing so close beside his shoulder as he lay down on his back. He reached up and grasped the bar as Ryder traded out the weights. "Start lighter," he advised, "and build up. I'll just use a couple fingers to spot you if you get stuck - barely enough to keep it up, so you have to do more work." He grinned. "Either you'll love it or you'll hate it."

"I bet." Jake braced himself, but the weights were light and he was able to do ten reps without significant effort. Ryder added another five pounds on either side. This time his muscles felt it, and Ryder watched him carefully as he lowered the bar down.

"Ready for more?" he said softly. Jake snorted. Ryder not-smiling was kind of hilarious.

"I can take it." He watched Ryder slide the weights on the bar.

The third set was significantly harder. Jake put his shoulders into it, but the last six reps felt like torture. "That's it," Ryder encouraged. He slid two fingers under the bar, holding up with just enough pressure that Jake could tell he was there. It was surprisingly effective, but he couldn't tell if it was psychological or physical. Maybe it didn't matter. For whatever reason, he was able to finish the set, gasping as he set the bar down on the rack.

Ryder grabbed his hand, squeezing it as he knelt beside him. "Nice job, man."

"That... was kind of evil." He turned his head to look at Ryder, still holding his hand. He wasn't looking at his face. "Um..."

"Your turn." Ryder's hand traced through the sweat on his ribs, down to his stomach, to hold his cock, which had softened somewhat.

It was impossible to be sure what Ryder was thinking, but watching him staring gave Jake some clues. Then Ryder licked his lips, and Jake blurted, "Oh god."

Ryder turned, leaning in under the barbell suspended over his head to kiss him, stroking him quickly, lightly, maddeningly. "I know you said  _that_  was... too Blaine, but... I would. If you'd let me."

"Let you," he groaned, writhing on the sweaty vinyl of the bench. He could feel the sweat running down between the cheeks of his ass, making him squirm. "I would - let you."

"Oh, fuck. Yeah?" Ryder looked a little overwhelmed, but Jake swallowed and nodded.  _Please_ ,he wasn't going to say. Ryder looked back at his cock, at full attention now. He left Jake where he was, resting on the bench, and moved to crouch between his legs, hesitating. "You're sure?"

"Sure," Jake replied, gritting his teeth. Telling Ryder to suck his cock would be  _way_  too Blaine, but if Ryder wanted it, it would be okay. He felt Ryder's hands on the skin of his inner thigh, spreading him wider, and just as he was about to object, to say  _wait, I don't know if I can -_  the warm, wet pressure enveloped him, and he pressed a hand to his own mouth, muffling his embarrassingly loud noises.  _Fuck fuck fuck._

Ryder had spent the last couple weeks figuring out what got Jake off, so it wasn't a surprise to feel his hand cupping his balls, rolling them gently, putting pressure on the PC muscle between his thighs as he sucked him. The surprise was how different it felt with Ryder kneeling there, knowing he was hard, probably jerking off, and -  _no_ ,that was not going to happen, that was  _way_  too Blaine.

Jake reached down, fumbling for some touch from Ryder, a shoulder or an arm or something, but he grasped his hair instead. He lifted his head off the bench long enough to look down and see Ryder's mouth, enthusiastically taking his cock down his throat. He came the moment their eyes met, with a wordless cry.

"Oh, god, I'm sorry, man." His hand tried to make up for it, stroking Ryder's cheek as he rested his head on Jake's thigh. "I didn't even warn you."

"No," said Ryder quickly, "no, I - I wanted to do that."

 _Oh._  Jake waited long enough to say anything that Ryder sighed and sat up, pushing himself to his feet.

"I'm going to take a shower," he said. "You want a turn when I'm done?"

That didn't sound good. That didn't sound good at all. Jake struggled to sit up, battling his fluttering abs and his three-sets-tired arms. "Hey... wait, Ryder..."

"Don't worry about it," he broke in, unlocking the door. "We don't have to talk about it." He left the door ajar as he headed for the hallway bathroom, apparently unconcerned about his family seeing him without clothes on. Jake was a little less blazé; he found Ryder's robe hanging on the back of his door and put that on - as though it'd be any less obvious what they'd been up to.  _Honestly, Mrs. Lynn, we were lifting weights in the nude and..._ there was no conclusion to that that didn't end with  _and then your son blew me._  But there was no one in the hallway, so he went to the bathroom and let himself in, not bothering to knock. The shower was already going.

"Ryder," he said.

His voice sounded indistinct. "If you really need an apology, you're gonna have to wait until I'm done in here."

"I don't need an - fuck, man, what do you think, I didn't fucking love that?"

There was a long pause, in which Jake considered pulling the shower curtain aside, but there was a level of privacy there that he was going to respect, even if he hadn't knocked on the door. He leaned against the sink.

"Can I come in?"

"You want to?" came Ryder's voice.

Jake undid the tie on the robe and let it fall to the floor. "I sure as hell need a shower. My best friend just blew me and I'm totally raunchy and sweaty."

There was a laugh. His head stuck out, looking apologetic despite what Jake had said. This wasn't going to cut it. Jake stood, catching his wet face in his hands, kissing him. His mouth tasted bitter and metallic; he was glad he hadn't been the one giving the blowjob.

Ryder sighed, leaning against Jake's head with his own. "It's not freaking you out that your best friend really liked doing that?"

"A little," he admitted. "But I can definitely see the benefits." Jake wasn't quite ready to bring up the images inspired by Ryder's two-fingered spotting, but he thought, with time, maybe they'd get there too. He smiled at him. "I trust you."

"That's amazing," whispered Ryder, his eyes enormous. Jake gave him a nudge.

"Make room in the shower, bro. Pretty sure I owe you one, now."

(to be continued?)

* * *

_God money I'll do anything for you_  
 _God money just tell me what you want me to  
 _God money nail me up against the wall  
 _God money don't want everything he wants it all___

_-[Nine Inch Nails, "Head Like A Hole"](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Lm1FL7gWl4)_


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